Accepting Change
Everything has an end and a beginning
A season has passed since I was last on Substack, and from the months it took for the dead of winter to flourish into spring flowers I have experienced a few big changes in my life, one of which is moving out.
As I write this, I have just experienced the exhausting whirlwind of hard work, and hard emotions, of moving out of my grandma’s old house and into another place. Luckily this place isn’t too far away so that made the process slightly easier, that and the amazing support I had from my friends and family, I couldn’t have done it without them.
I don’t think it’s quite hit me yet that I have slept in that old house for the last time or that there will never be a large family gathering there, all of us sitting around looking at pictures and telling stories. When I looked around my grandma’s house, it felt odd to see all the rooms barren and empty, so many memories existing like ghosts in the indents on the worn carpets or in the wallpaper faded by the sun except for the shape of a photo frame.
All of this stirring up of old and new energies had made me re-remember that one of the only consistent things in life is change. I found that I’d grown stagnant in my patterns of just surviving. Get up, go to work, fall asleep without meaning to and ruin my sleep schedule… over and over again until the days blurred and the months flew past as if I was a character in a book and the reader was flipping through the pages. In those moments I recognised the panic of survival mode creeping in and my regular routine slipping from my fingers like sand; clothes piling up and my desk filling with random papers. In this time of transition I felt even more so that doing the most basic things to look after myself was unnecessarily taxing.
With the act of moving, my routine, that had grown into stale complacency, has vanished like the morning mist with the sun. Now it feels like waking up from heavy fog, everything is sharper and I’m seeing my life from a fresh perspective.
This process has also reinforced the fact that I have the power to make changes in my life for the better. I have the power to pursue dreams and desires that have been turning over in my head for a long time. This change has helped me to bring more change, and this season is perfect for it. I’m glad that I chose to trust myself in making the decisions that got me here.
On the beautiful day that I am writing this, when the sky is blue and the flowers are blooming in the golden sunlight, I feel like this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life; an adventure that I am looking forward to going on. I am optimistic and excited about the future for the first time in a long time.
Wishing you well, stay safe out there 💖